外剛內柔 Shells of Protection Eng Chi version

栗子、紅毛丹和夾心巧克力都擁有外殼堅硬，內餡柔軟的特性。這看似象徵着我的性情，慢慢蛻變的舊我以及漸漸穿上的新我。

首先，這代表著我的弱點 -- 驕傲。好像綠栗子的外殼，又尖又棘手的。我似乎穿上了光澤亮麗的外殼以保護軟弱的自己。有時候我會高傲自滿地誇口，但當我被懷疑或被潑冷水時，我會老羞成怒，𡚒力地為自己辯護。我好像刺蝟，很怕軟弱的一面被人看到、被人看透。我反思這或許源自自己的不自信，或許也跟自己不能放手讓神掌管有關。我的控制慾告訴我要事事追求完美，當稍有不合自己標準便會不滿。在剛強的外殼的保護下，我是軟弱、怕事和疲累的。

The chestnuts, rambutan and filled chocolates all share mutual physical qualities of a hard shell and a soft filling. I see these symbols as my transforming process from my old to a new self. First, they reflect the root of my pride. Unknowingly I put on a façade, like a sharp and spiky shell of a green chestnut, to protect my vulnerable self. I want to be acknowledged as capable and prolific, but at the same time I feel deeply insecure within. Like a hedgehog,I fear so much of being probed into, and discover that I am not as capable and intelligent as I claimed. This may also have to do with my resistance against letting go and letting God for my good. My controlling spirit seeks perfection, urging everything to be in the exact right place as I wanted. Internally I am soft, timid, and tired.

但是經過磨練，我在慢慢地蛻變：眼光放在永恆，越來越放手，交託給主，心裏似乎越來越豁達。同樣外強內軟的比喻似乎能夠引用到基督徒嚮往的素質 – -強則持守和捍衛基督真理，軟則維持內心柔軟，接受神的模造，對人充滿憐憫。像夾心巧克力，我願被神的靈充滿，施展恩慈、甜蜜的慷慨，同時亦持守神正直公義的教導。若您們有同感請分享一下，那一方面比較反映您現在的光景呢？

However, during recent years of refining, I am in the gradual process of becoming a faithful Jesus follower. The juxtaposition of a hard shell and a soft filling also applies – to stand firm by my biblically infused principles, while being mellow and soft at heart, moldable by God, and compassionate toward others. Like jam filled chocolates, I want to be spirit-led, extending sweetness and generosity to others, while staying rooted in God’s Word. As a Christian, it is imperative to me to support and defend for my faith, while being completely loving and genuine without deceit. What do you think? Which part of the symbols relates to you most?